1B. Kurbanalyev, 2N. Aitureev, 3S. Baigazinova.

 

1KazNAU, Almaty, Kazakhstan, 2College ¹20 be name Kurmanbek, Kazakhstan, 3Gymnasium  132 Almaty Kazakhstan

 

The mechanisms of self-regulation and self-assertion of the individual

 

All the means and methods of self-affirmation focused on the desire for recognition, to an appreciation of others. Means (actions, activities, communication with others). Forms of self-affirmation and positive personality change ("I am successful ","I am recognized ", "I have power, influence").

Self-affirmation - processes managed the personality awareness and gaining a place in society, the appropriate representation of the person about himself (G.K  Selevko). This commitment to high performance and its steps to self-improvement. It is natural for human and socially valuable quality. Self-affirmation and the progress of society.

 The desire to succeed as the desire to stand out, to expand their opportunities to get better results, higher standard. The need for self-expression. The relative nature of the need for self-expression. This increases the responsibility of, the level of claims. Confidence as a success factor. The desire to acquire a certain status, prestige in the eyes of others. The type of person (loves the work, psychologically feels people try to win their support, respect). The desire for power (to control others, to influence them, to enjoy the power). Assertiveness as a competition with other switches in comparison with himself, striving to be better than before, to be satisfied with yourself, be confident in their abilities, capabilities, and respect  yourself.

The need for self-assertion - as "life instinct (the desire to act, to improve, to rejoice, to win, to get, to give)." Form of humiliation ("I am not successful," "I am not recognized", "I have no influence"). There is nothing that portends failure as its deliberate wait.

 Regulation of self-affirmation. Personality accomplishes this through the activities. If self-affirmation does not come through positive activities, people looking for self-affirmation through negative activities.

 The role of self-esteem, praise, support, emotional stability of the individual in the process of self-affirmation.

Areas of self-affirmation. Social, personal, professional, moral and spiritual self-affirmation. Position of self-affirmation. Variety of social positions in society; at work (official role, informal role); in the family.

Social aspirations - a desire to achieve a certain social status, social role that a person considers to be more appropriate. Types of social aspirations. "Our sense of self in the world depends entirely on what we set out to be and what we set out to make". Socio-acceptable position: adequacy of self-confidence, a statement in the group through the activity, stable orientation to participate in life, the desire to find a reason in itself. Position of self-affirmation: true to its principles; preservation of self-confidence; ability to suppress the selfish impulses; adherence to accepted social norms; respect for each individual, positive qualities; resistance to negative life circumstances. Features of verbal communication. Features of non-verbal communication. Psychological position and install in communication. Business communication. Cast and communication. Assertiveness in the relationship between the sexes; in the profession; in the sphere of moral relations. Expression and morality.

 Confident behavior as a kind of successful behavior (A. Adler). Confident behavior as the ability to talk openly about feelings, requirements, establish contacts, to begin and end the conversation, openly express positive and negative feelings, to be able to say "no", etc. The ability to confront and attack as a direct and honest expression of their views. Expression of personal responsibility. Fear of criticism, contact, communication, sense of guilt for sure behavioral reactions, excessive conformity and caution.

Confident behavior and aggression. Leadership and self-expression, self-assertion. Leader - a man for whom the society, the group recognizes the right to a special role in the events, the authority of judgment, which are subject to, which focuses on the group. Tendency to lead. Leadership - a character trait that is the desire and the ability to win in certain situations, the role of leader, organizer, and authority. Leader - creator; leader- destroyer; formal and informal; leader- initiator, leader handyman , etc. Leadership qualities, and their development. A leadership role. Self-presentation and self-affirmation.

The concept of conflict stages, species. Causes of conflict. Behavior in the conflict. The effective yield of the conflict - as a result of self-expression. The program is self-affirmation.

Assertiveness in the relationship between the sexes (based on L. Stolyarenko).

During adolescence comes the awareness and attitude towards the emerging forms of sexual sensuality. Psychological features of youthful sexuality. Mature love adults is a harmonious unity sensually sexual desire and the need for a deep spiritual communion and understanding loving people, the youth, the two drives are not mature at the same time, and also different for girls and boys. Although the girls had matured physiologically, they initially need for tenderness, affection, emotional warmth and understanding is stronger than physical proximity. The young men, on the contrary, in most cases sooner appears sensual attraction to physical intimacy, and much later, there is a need for togetherness, mutual understanding. At discrepancy psychosexual features, boys and girls are often mutual disappointment when she thinks that "he threw me, cheated my love," and the young man genuinely outraged: "I did not promise her. We just had sex together, and then love and marriage".

In the ancient Indian epic, the formula of love expressed as follows: "The needs of the soul give rise to friendship, the needs of the mind - respect,  the needs of the body - sexual desire. And all three together give birth to love. "All these phenomena can exist apart by itself, but then it is not love. Love at first sight is possible, it grows out of the desire, which appeared at the beginning of dating and then amplified by friendship, mutual respect. If mutual affection  is not supported by friendship, respect, understanding, love is gone, not growing into love. Love is a condition where from "all three components of love" in the sense of a person lacking "needs of the mind", which makes a kind of "intoxication of feeling" with the loss of responsibility and analytical thinking skills, as a result people do not think about the consequences, does not notice the shortcomings of the chosen one, not has a mutual respect and appreciation of personal qualities of each other ("Blindness lovers"). Love can grow in love (if the feeling of love to join mutual respect and understanding), and may fade away (which often happens). Love and relatively easy to create a natural way, as well as a result of "the peculiar pitfalls of Love":

1) trap "mutual of acting" to look much more interesting in the eyes of each other;

2)  trap "wounded pride";

3)  trap "intimate luck";

4) trap "simplicity relations" and so on.

 In adolescence, many people have to face the likes of "traps", but everyone inevitably has to become aware of their sexual desires and shape their attitude to sexual arisen sensuality - an important component of youth identity.

Young people's attitudes to their sexual desires can be different:

 1) an exaggeration of the physical aspects of sexuality, sexual discharge voltages with cynical conversations, jokes, and so on;

 2) asceticism, emphasized contemptuous attitude towards sexual sensuality as something lowlands, the desire to suppress sexual attraction;

 3) intellectualism when sexual sensitivity considered "uninteresting", primitive, and thus try to get rid of it;

 4) initiation of sexual activity as a result of: a) the appearance of being in love, or b) a strong sexual desire, or c) as a means to prove their adulthood, as a means of self-affirmation and enhance its prestige in the eyes of their peers. Relationship boys and girls pushes them with a lot of moral issues, sometimes they are in dire need of wise counsel of elders, but also young people want and have every right to do  to protect their intimate world of unceremonious intrusion and spying from "feeling heart with iron gloves" . For love must forever, for life to stay for a person with the lightest, most intimate, inviolable. Love men and women are at least two types:

1) love as a feeling of preference of one person over all others, may even be more beautiful, intelligent, and so on. You will need just this one person, you want to always be near you to love, afraid of losing it. It is love selfish man cares mostly about himself, merely acts as a consumer of pleasure;

2) altruistic love, when dominated by the desire not to have fun on the subject of love, how to give it all, even if it is to their detriment. In some languages, the word "love" is only this second meaning (for example Ukrainian "Kohala").

Attitudes to love, their expectations and attitudes (for selfish or altruistic kind of love), the choice of a life partner youthful identity.            

References:

1.R.Noyber new book about marriage. M., 2011

2.Gumanistichesky ideal and social practice. Ed. Barbashin ER Novosibirsk 2009.

3.Pekelis Q. How to find themselves. M., 2009.

4. N.Kozlov. Philosophical tales for pondering habitation, or cheerful book about freedom and morality. M., 2010

5.N. Kozlov. How to treat yourself and the people, or practical psychology for every day. M., 2008