Психология и социология /12. Социальная психология

L. Sarkissyan Ph.D., assistant professor of Psychology and Pedagogy department

of A. Baytursynov Kostanay state university

Kurmanova A.E. graduate student

of A. Baytursynov Kostanay state university

EFFECTIVE PARENTHOOD AS SOCIAL

AND PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM

In modern conditions of a family crisis and decrease of parental motivation as the main condition of children’s harmonious upbringing special relevance is gained by the researches directed on identification of formation factors of an effective parenthood. In this regard first of all it is necessary to identify factors of an effective parenthood as reference points for ways to it.

Philosophical dictionary gives the following definition of the word factor "an event, the phenomenon, the fact, the relationship defining a change or stability of the whole; the reason, the driving force of process defining its character or individual features " [1; page 390].

R.V Ovtcharova and M.O Ermihina proposed the classification of the factors determining the formation of parenting, these factors should be divided into external and internal. The group of external factors is caused by set of external influences; internal factors – are connected with features of the personality, its identity.

In scientific psychological literature the parenting is defined as integrated psychological formation of the personality (the father and/or mother), including set of valuable orientations of the parent, installations and expectations, parent attitudes, the relations and positions, parental responsibility and style of family upbringing. Each component of a parenting contains emotional, cognitive and behavioral components. Parenthood is shown at subjective and personal levels. It is possible to claim that in various fields of human activities, including parenting, personal qualities are based on a subjective paradigm of personal development. Subjectivity shows that the personality - is the creator of the destiny, a source of own development. In connection with this, it is possible to define that the internal factors of parenting formation is the essence and the maintenance of personal factors.

Personal and parental characteristics at the level of individual personality interact by the principle of a mental determinism. External causes are refracted through the internal conditions. A certain level of personal development acts as an internal condition, to become the parent is the external reason. Giving birth in a family puts man and woman before necessity to become the parent. However care of child is not evidence of such status. An adult may not be ready to take the parental role and then objectively emerging relationship burdened him. In this situation the adult carries out the functions owing to need, trying as much as possible, to reduce them to a minimum (the nurse invitation, minimization of time devoted to satisfaction of child's needs).

Need to take parental role is refracted through the internal conditions, i.e. through the level of personality development. Therefore, the mature personality is a basis of an parenthood. However, the internal works through external and changes itself: personal qualities are shown in parenthood and improved, i.e. becoming the parent, the person finds opportunity to become the mature person.

According to E.Erikson, parenthood is one of the factors in the development of personality, because it leads to the achievement of productivity and establish identity in a relationship: "Only finding life experience enriched cares about people, and especially about children, creative ups and downs, person acquires integrative, a gain of all previous stages of development" [2; page 946].

This condition is also consistent with the concept of personalisation of V.A. Petrovsky: "The person "is included" in other person and through this inclusiveness develops as the personality" [3; p.232].

According to foreign psychologists, style of education and used disciplinary methods reflect inevitably personal qualities of parents and system of their belief. Emotionally mature parents, who have been well adapted, react to manifestation by the child of the requirements with bigger keenness and attention, than those parents, which are psychologically unsuccessful; sensitive education promotes development of emotional stability, independence, social competence of the child, his intellectual skills. Self-assured parents are convinced that are capable to control everything occurring to them, they concern other people with big trust and in the relations with the children show warmth, acceptance and responsiveness.

Style of family education is defined by personal qualities of fathers and mothers, their ideas of life and also by style of the relations in a family. The parent with any personal features realizes a certain style of family education.

The identity of parents and their position make huge impact on the developing identity of the child. It is considered that impact of the identity of parents on the child is carried out by means of supervision. The child, having before eyes an example of parents or other significant persons in his life, not only imitates their simple actions, but, first of all, adopts the general tendencies of their behavior. Considering emotional communication of the child and parents, influence of their personal traits on behavior of the child, it is possible to assume that some personal defects of parents can be also the cause promoting development of neurosises or asocial tendencies at children.

A.A. Sarayev considers as the first sign of a safe family- a personal maturity of spouses: "Parents can teach their children only when they are married and can love. Parents can give to their children happiness only so far as they found happiness in marriage" [4; page 273].

At the heart of family disorganization of any personal problem of the parent most often have character of an extramental problem, requirement often lies. The parent tries to allow it (to satisfy requirement) due to the education of the child.

The social situation of a person who has become a parent, differs specific features and its development doesn't result automatically from the birth of a child. Therefore acceptance of this system of the relations testifies to emergence of a new growth of a maturity - an internal position of the parent. This attitude towards the child in which the adult assumes responsibility for his wellbeing. In case of rejection of a parental position in situations when the adult is compelled to be arranged under vital rhythms of the child, there is a negative attitude to a parental role and often to the child.

The interaction of parents with children is influenced by also social orientation of parents, their generalized ideas of other people. The parents, emphasizing value of psychological characteristics, motives, feelings – unlike those who considers people from the point of view of their appearance, an occupation or a situation in society – are inclined to use personally - the focused disciplinary methods. They pay attention of children to feelings and motives of other people, encourage their reflections over own behavior and emotions.

The majority of parents exclude a factor of own influence on aggressive behavior of the child. Nevertheless, subconscious provoking of undesirable aggressive behavior is quite often observed. Most often it occurs owing to such reasons, as insufficient pedagogical culture and specific features of character of parents. The factors influencing aggressive behavior of children is a consent or disagreement between parents in upbringing questions, and also use and efficiency of punishments and a ban. Therefore the best guarantor of good self-control and adequate behavior of children is ability of parents to be self-controlled. Unfortunately, children, whose parents still didn't learn to operate own behavior, with great difficulty acquire skills of adequate expression of aggression.

Speaking about parental position, it should be noted that the motherhood as a phenomenon is studied in scientific literature in more detail, than paternity. Thus the features of motherhood connected with the social status of the woman, extent of its self-realization, independence, success in life, with its psychological features, and also its defining role in fosterage of children are rather in detail studied.

There are few researches about fathers, but also their results testify that the father is essential for development of children from the moment of the birth: fathers accelerate processes of independence of children, their sexual identification and socialization.

Unfortunately, in recent years there is a decrease in a role of fathers in children’s upbringing. Also in families - decrease in fatherly authority is observed.

Thus, both parents are equally important for harmonious development of the identity of the child. Factor of formation of an effective parental position is the personal maturity of parents and style of family upbringing.

Refrences

1. The Penguin Dictionary of Psychology:/trans. from English / A.Reber. – T.1. – 2003. – page 390.

2. Ericsson E. Life cycle: identity epigenesis//Psychology of the personality: Anthology. – Samara: Prod. the house "Bakhrakh – M", 2002. – T. 1 – page 344-346.

3. Petrovsky V.A. the personality in psychology: subjectivity paradigm. – Rostov-on-Don: Feniks, 1996. – page 94.

4. Sarajeva A.A. Family in which the personality is born //Psychological problems of a modern Russian family: Materials of the All-Russian scientific conference. – M, 2003. – T.1. – page 271-275.