Philosophy / 2. Social philosophy

Miroshnichenko A.I.

Donetsk National University of Economics and Trade named after M. Tugan- Baranovsky

Generation gap

Parents and children are genetically geared to love each other, and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. But sometimes things go wrong parents don't understand and children don't respect. In many homes, battles between parents and children develop in a regular sequence.

Parents and teenagers find it so difficult to talk to each other. Relations between them so frequently market by squabbling, bickering, nagging, arguing, and – at the other extreme – by stubborn silence.

Adolescence is a period of special strain between parents and children. Despite considerable love between most teens and their parents, they can’t help sparring. The arguments almost always involve mundane matters – taking out the garbage, coming home on time, clearing up the bedroom. This is continual arguing necessary. The communication is barriers between adults and adolescents inevitable or resolvable.

The purpose of the article is to find out common reasons of problems between parents and their children and to analyze them.

Communication problems between parents and children arise for a variety of reasons that stem from stressful situations, instability, major life changes and a lack of communication from the beginning. Single parents face extreme challenges, especially when a parent becomes single after being in a marital relationship for many years. Some children may shut down and pull away because they feel unstable and don’t approve of changes going on in their life. It’s easier for a child who has always been with one parent from an early age because he has already adapted to life with just mother or father.

Other factors such as how a parent communicates can also result in communication problems between parents and children. Being too critical, labeling or blaming a child can make them feel attacked and alienated making them less likely to open up and talk when they need help. Repeated criticism can also leave emotional scars and a child can develop resentment towards their parent which can continue on through the teenage years.

Single parents can turn things around by making an effort to help their child feel special along with taking what they say seriously. Listening with empathic ears is vital when raising children. Sometimes parents want to do all the talking and they fail to really listen to what their child has to say. When parents take the time to consider their child’s ideas with enthusiasm, the child feels good about communicating and more trust begins to develop. This trust strengthens the lines of communication because it helps children feel comfortable opening up about anything as they grow older.

Criticism is unnecessary. When children take a wrong turn on a road and lose their way, the last thing they need is criticism. When things go wrong, it is not the right time to tell a child anything about his personality or character. Criticism of personality and character gives children negative feelings about themselves. Children are trying to figure out how to behave what is acceptable and what is not. They look at parents as models of that behavior.

Parents must teach children to discern what is right and wrong,and what they should and should not do. Parents must understand their children personalities and be cognizant on how children's attitudes and outlook change according to their age and environment. Lack of communication between parents and children leads to problems related to everything from school to dating.

Many of the problems of troubled youth have their source in parental neglect. The result is that sexually transmitted diseases continue to be a major problem, teen pregnancies continue to rise, the use of alcohol appears to be normative. A lot of parents are saying “Not my kids…” Such parents do not understand that every generation is unique and distinct group with its own values, attitudes and problems. As a generation, today’s teenagers face more adult strength stresses than their predecessors did-at time when adults are much less available to help them. Today’s teenagers are growing up faster, feeling more pressure, and facing greater dangers than ever before. They have more access than ever to fast cars, fast drugs, easy sex. Although many teenagers are doing just fine, others are struggling.

Children's physical and emotional status, as well as their social and cognitive development, greatly depend on their family dynamics. The rising incidence of behavioural problems among children could suggest that some families are struggling to cope with the increasing stresses they are experiencing.

I found out common reasons of problems between parents and their children and analyzed them.

So, developing good communication with child is a process that takes effort and changes don’t happen overnight. You can start by taking to your child every day after school and scheduling special one-on-one time as often as possible. Taking your child to dinner, a movie or just going out for ice cream can also open up the door for communication.

As a result, I think that discussion is an effective way out. Parents have to learn a living and fulfill their own needs – they are not likely to be coming home early. But there must be time and place for them to give their children the advice, the comfort and, most of all, the feelings of possibility that any kid needs in order to believe in himself.